Sad Elephants, a Wonderful Man and a Dream for Me.

The Yoga classes in the mountains were great and so was the teacher!  It was a type of yoga I had never done before; in fact, I had never even heard of it until I saw it on the sign... but it was fantastic.  It concentrates on opening all of your chakras and wow... do you ever feel fantastic after class...lighter, cleaner and just all around great!

The studio...if you didn't know what it was (which I hadn't up until
this point) you would think it was just a big tarpaulin tent...however when you went inside it was this cute little studio with a few mats  and felt laid out on a cement floor.  Shawls hanging along the wall to give it some colour and
one side completely open to the beautiful  mountain view... it was the perfect place.

We did this for a few mornings and then went for a nice brunch as I was always hungry afterward ... of course.

Our last morning we sat with our wonderful teacher in his garden, drinking tea with mint pulled fresh from his garden.  We talked about life and yoga enjoying the moment with an incredible view of the mountains... life is good.

I took an overnight bus to Delhi...and it was a shitty bus!!! First I had to walk from the hostel up the rocky road (no, not the ice cream), in the dark to get a cab...thank goodness the guy from the hostel carried my backpack and guided the way because I would still be there lost and crying hahaha.

The bus...well...let''s just say it wasn't my best bus experience in all the years I have traveled...however I did meet some awesome people so it has a bonus side...plus I got a story out of it ... another bonus.

I usually spend more money on a bus for comfort but the hostel could only book with this company and I wasn't walking down to Macleodganj until the next day and that's when I wanted my ticket for so I decided to go with it.

It was a pure traveler bus...I saw people from the meditation course and other I hadn't seen before.  It was just a bunch of travelers so it meant the bus wasn't full and I had an empty seat next to me...score...this means I could stretch out and get a better nights sleep.  WRONG!!!  The bus was so bumpy... it had no shock absorber's so it bounced and shook.  I was getting a big motion sick and the girl a few rows up was vomiting into a plastic bag.... it was cold with her window open but it felt good and helped me feel better.  I think she puked the better part of the trip.

We bounced all night...at one point I saw my computer bag in the middle of the isle along with my shoes.  My tea holder went flying out of my hands and I  couldn't find it but the guy in front of me handed it back.   The seats were silky so when I found a decent position I would just slide right out of it.  Bumps had us flying out of our seat... so a sleep ... even a decent sleep seemed very far out of my reach for the night.

We did however arrive two hours early.... let me explain.   In India you are usually on time, or late but never early.... so... he was driving like a speed demon... just like our driver to Taj Mahal... trust me you can feel it in a bus especially when it's bumby.  I didn't mind though it cut our drive from 12 hours to 10 hours.  The guys at the hostel were great...they woke up and let us check in which was great.

I met two others on the bus.  Kirsten and Benny.  Benny had been talking about staying at a guest house which was close to where we were.  It was $3 a night but I would've paid $3 just to not stay there.  There was mold absorbed into the white walls,  the communal toilet had old cigarettes on the floor and I didn't even want to have a look at the shower.  The bed room looked a bit like a jail cell.  Benny stayed there but bought new sheets and blankets and Kirsten stayed with me at the hostel.

It was  nice day we went for lunch and dinner.... I booked my bus for the next day..... I did another cheap one because it wasn't an overnight trip and then went to bed.

I caught my 7:30am bus the next morning and was on my way to Delhi to meet up with James (met him in Delhi when I first arrived).  Just like last time, he was the first face I saw when I entered the hostel.  We had drinks that night...well, we had to buy them under-the-table as it was a dry day.  I felt the beer the next morning (and the cigarettes - I know, I know) but I wasn't bad...and we were off to Jaipur.

Our bus trip was 6 hours.  James had booked our bus and went expensive so we had a nice bus... well not the nicest I have had but at least nicer than my overnight bus.  We arrived in Jaipur around 5, hopped in a tuk-tuk and went to the hostel.    We went for dinner with one of our roommates to a restaurant just up the road from the hostel that the owner had recommended.  It doesn't look like much from inside or outside but of course the food was great!

The next morning I was up early to do my yoga practice and our roommate joined me, and while we were practicing two other girls asked if they could have a class with me the next morning.  I of course said yes but ended up sleeping in so it didn't happen.

The next day we planned a city tour...the tuk-tuk driver had given us his number so I had messaged him with a list of places we wanted to go and he said okay for a very good price - $20.

We went to the Amber fort - we don't know anything about it really because we didn't get a guide but I took some awesome pictures.  There were elephants there.  I cried when I saw them.  The elephants are beaten and treated horribly.   It is always female elephants because they are less aggressive than the males.  They are painted to look colourful and fun. People pay to sit in the basket on top and ride them.  Elephants look like they have a strong stable back but they don't.  They walk slowly and sadly, you can literally feel how sad they are as they walk through the crowd and the people on top smiling and laughing because they are riding an elephant.

Their trunks are white down the center.  In order to get the paint off they are scrubbed with rocks resulting in their trunks fading.  It's really awful how animals are treated in many countries around the world, it's heart breaking... they have literally broken these animals just for a joy ride...it's awful.


We went to the Floating Palace.  From my understanding a man of stature - a long time ago built it for his wife.  She wanted place to hangout so he built her a house out in the middle of the water.  There used to be tours out to it however, there are crocodiles in the water and a few years ago a tourist ... well, I'm sure I don't have to continue the story.  It wasn't a happy ending so they stopped the tours.



We went to some step wells.  Back in the day, the people used to get their water from step wells.  They would take buckets and go down to the water line.  They are really beautiful and still in good condition... the one we were at reminded me of the scene in Labyrinth.

We visited the Monkey Temple which was my favourite.  When you enter the area it doesn't smell great, there are lots of dog and the people, I think they live there,  its not the nicest looking place.  And, of course, there are monkeys, everywhere.  There are so many, even on the walk up they are on the road and the stone wall that lines the road.  They still make me nervous, I'm always afraid they are going to attack even though I know they are used to humans.  The red faced ones are the aggressive ones and unfortunately these are the most common.  You just have to walk slowly and don't make I contact or smile at them, then you will be in trouble.

We got blessed at the top and then went and looked out at Jaipur from the top.

Jaipur is a pretty city.  The buildings are bigger and in better shape than the places I have been to in India.  The streets are cleaner along with the buildings... it seems richer and you can see it in everything...though of course it is still polluted...you can see it sitting over the city.  We stood there looking out for I don't know how long.  I watched kids on their rooftops fly their kites and twirl around.  It was really calming watching the city and listening to the far off sounds of the car horns and other city sounds.

We drove through the Pink city... all the buildings in the city are...well...pink!  Rajasthan (the state we are in)  has cities of different colours, and Jaipur has the Pink City.

I had been very clear with our driver that we just wanted to go to the places on our list and that we didn't want to be taken to any places where he would get commission ... he was offended and said he was not like that ... but.... lol.  He made up excuses, the restaurant we wanted to go to was too far so he took us to a really good place that he knew about.... it was awesome ... but already against what I had told him.  I wanted to go to a market and look at jewelry as Jaipur is known for it's amazing jewelry.  "Nope, there are no markets like that, they won't be authentic I can take you to a factory!"  We told him to just take us back to the hostel.... he had said okay the night before.... ah well, next time.  Yes there will be a next time, I'm going back, I will explain that next.

The next day I was going on a tour with the owner of the hostel.   He runs his own NGO.  He has an after school program for children, and classes for women to get educated....here they learn how to read, write, and do mathematics.   They also learn how to sew.  He gets organic cotton and left over material from companies that are going to throw away their scraps.  Then the women make clothing and other things...one being all the bed linens for the hostel.  He also takes designs from Pinterest and they make the clothing and sell it.  Some girls who have visited the hostel before have started their own Etsy business with their clothing.  I even bought a few things myself that they made to fit me and had it for me within 4 hours.  One of the women now runs her own business and can do her own books!

The people he helps are from the slum areas of Jaipur.  He has three day cares where the children range from 3-6 or 7.  He sings with them and teaches them English.

He had done all of this in 4 years with no support from the government.  Everything he makes goes back into each project and whatever little money is left over goes towards his other project.  A school.  There is a building that he wants to buy and fix up so he can have the children from all 3 day cares bused to one school.  He take everything and gives it back to others... his wife teaching the women to sew and his 8 year old daughter helping where she can.   He buys all the schools supplies, gets used clothing, purchases sewing machines whenever he can.  He has no sponsors or government funding.  He doesn't have a website as he doesn't want to become famous, he just wants to help others as best he can.  He is an incredible man and very inspiring.  So inspiring I am going back for 10 days.  I will be in the day cares, 3 days at each.  I will be teaching the little ones English through games and songs.  He is not a teacher so I want to give him a template and some ideas for the classroom!  Also,  a dream of mine for a long time has been to start a school in the slums of India and teach English voluntarily.  When I walked in to the little day care I thought, this is literally my dream. The kids were just amazing, excited to learn, my heart melted and I was almost brought to tears.  Right then I knew I needed to stay.  I couldn't walk away from something like this.  So after talking to the owner I am going back for 10 days to work with the little ones and I will also be doing morning yoga classes at the hostel for free room and board.  I am so excited!!! This is literally a dream come true!


There was a really nice Dutch couple on the tour and we ended up going to a bar with them that night.  The owner took us, had a small sip of tequila and left.  We had a few drinks before they called last call at 11:45pm. 

While we sat enjoying our drinks we were invited by our neighbouring table to join in a celebration where they fed us cake.

Our cab ride home called us cheaters because he went the wrong way.  Here, you get a set price before you take a cab... but in this case it was an Uber.  He got turned around and then wanted more money and called us cheaters. 

First however, its a couple other cities with James before we split off for 12 days and then I am meeting him in Goa.  Yesterday we took a short 3 hour bus ride to Pushkar.  We took a sleeper bus - though we were in seats - and they are pretty awesome so I am going to take one back to Jaipur so I can sleep and have my own little space.

Again, our driver - this time being a tuk-tuk driver - tried getting more money out of us.  He took us to the wrong place and then when he dropped us off asked for more money because he went to the wrong place saying "you only told me what place you wanted to go after we went to the wrong one."  Clearly I didn't I wouldn't give the wrong name of a hostel for fun.  Ughh... man, I'm having to be tough here and its giving me bad vibes in my soul but sometimes you really need to be stern.....pfft.

Today and tomorrow we are going to explore....we are waiting for our Dutch friends to arrive as they are joining us here and we are also meeting up with a friend we met in Delhi.

More adventures await.

                                                      - My Beautiful Life -

Disconnected-Reconnecting-Mountain Meditation

Well I did it, I graduated from my Yoga course, I am certified to teach yoga, isn't that exciting?!?!

I'm not going to lie.  By the third week in my yoga course I was struggling.  I was struggling with myself.  I expected this huge life changing experience and having the best time of my life but I felt the opposite.  I felt disconnected not just from myself but from everyone, even Julie. Don't get me wrong we were close but I felt like I was missing something... I felt completely lack of emotions and I was really struggling with this.

I went through my days focused but didn't really want to be around anyone (unless it was Julie).

We graduated and I barely felt anything.  I didn't care about the party or taking group photos.  I didn't feel a bond with anyone and even though I had learned a lot and felt great physically it didn't really bother me that we were finished a parting ways.

Why was I feeling like this?

I was happy to be moving out of the school and into a hostel - different from where some of the other girls were staying.  I didn't want to hang out with them,  I really just wanted to be on my own and do my own thing and just be around other people.

I had met a few people during the time of my course so I was hanging out with them but other than that I was hanging out at cafe's and going to morning classes with some of the girls which I didn't mind.  We would go for lunch after class but I felt detached and felt awkward in a conversation. I was having negative responses to most things and I was holding on to them...even if it was something small.  For example... my two dorm mates were going to a yoga class that I was interested in.  They stated they had to leave early to get money exchanged and I said I would spot them as it was too early to exchange money.  Next thing I know they are gone!!!  They left without me, so I leave and head to the studio.  I see them at a a cafe so I stop.  "You left without me!"  "We waited downstairs for you but you took too long."  " You didn't tell me you were going downstairs to wait you just left.  It's kind of rude after I offered to pay for you."  I was annoyed but waited for them while they ordered and chatted a bit with one of the shop owners I know.  I look over, they were drinking their coffee there, we were already running late so I said I would see them there.   I start walking and not 5 minutes later they go by me on a motorbike!  Seriously?!?!  I looked at my watch... I wasn't going to make it on time and why show up and pay for them screw them.  So I turned around.  Just I started walking the shop owner I had just been speaking to pulled up on his bike, asked were I was going and offered me a lift!  Honestly, I feel safer on the motorbikes than I do walking the streets, it's very easy to get run over when you are on foot.

I thanked him for the ride and went up to the class and it was completely full...well I guess they still met karma.  One apologized to me the next day, I said it was rude and I just had no respect but it didnt really affect my life.  Though it had pissed me off for awhile!

I went through my days dully, not really being here or there or feeling happy or sad, just being present.

I spent Diwali with a friend, we went for dinner at a cafe and then went down to The Gangas to watch fire works.  A dog joined us for a bit and then left.  He then returned but you could tell the sounds of the fireworks were scaring him so I started petting him, he got up and curled into me and stayed with us the rest of the time.  He then walked me part way home.  It was a really nice night.  It was nice to be away from everyone else and be with someone who was separate from the school but I still felt a bit disconnected.

Another friend I had met out side of the school only got the negative side of me because I was just so on edge most of the time.

Even when Julie left I felt sad but I didn't feel the attachment I thought I would and it was really strange.

I did meet a wonderful woman at my hostel who I had an outing with.  We went around Rishikesh had lunch, looked for a bank that accepted my bank card (no luck) and went to a cafe.  We kept running into people that I knew and she thought it was funny "you have definitely been here awhile!" However, I still didn't feel like me.

All of this was feeling weird and uncomfortable so I was really looking forward to going North to the mountains.  Ellen (one of the girls from my class) and Sergio a guy from the hostel hopped on a 13 hour night bus and headed North.

It was a little frustrating when we got here as it is off season so everything is pretty much shut down but...I LOVE IT HERE!!!  I am finally feeling like me.  The view here is fantastic, it's quiet, I am able to do asana (yoga in the Western World) on the roof top patio with a mountainous view.  Great food, beer (hahah) and I can focus.  I have gotten so much work done and just come back into myself.

A few days ago I walked to the next town - Macleodgang - and had a wonderful day.  I wandered the streets going in and out of the shops.  I really wanted a Tibetan Singing Bowl and ended up in this shop where I spent an hour speaking to the owner.  He showed me different ways of using the singing bowls and then told me about a Guru who gave classes for sound healing.  So after a purchase and many methods of healing I went to the ashram and met with the guru and talked about doing a course with him - I am just not sure when yet.

I then went into a restaurant, Nick's Italian Restaurant, for some lunch and it was starting to rain.  I was asked to sit at a table with a woman who I ended up speaking with for an hour.  We had such a wonderful time!  We parted ways and I met up with David (met him at the hostel my second night) and we had Chai and then took his motor bike back up the mountain and then when for a drink at one of the cafe's.  I was waiting for the rain to let up as it had started again but to no avail.  So I decided I wasn't going to melt and walked back in the rain with no flashlight as my phone had died...but hey... I didn't melt.

Now, it is Sunday, I have been here for 9 days and I just finished a meditation course, Cultivating Mindfulness and Emotional Balance, at the well known meditation centre Tushita.  It was exactly what I needed and opened my awareness to a lot of things.  No, this wasn't a planned thing, in fact, it was last minute.  Two of the girls here said they were going to sign up for a meditation course and I asked to go with them.  I looked at the name of it and thought I could use some emotional balance, and signed up.

It was from 9am to 430pm Friday to Sunday.  A ten minute walk from the hostel and if I left early enough which I did day 2 and 3 I was able to get a cinnamon roll and a chai from the Himalayan Tea shop.  The whole day was done in silence which was amazing.  It was so nice enjoying the afternoon sun in silence listening to literally every sound around you.  By the third day, sounds that would usually annoy me didn't bother me at all - the sound of people eating, spoons clicking in metal bowls.  I heard monkeys moving around in the trees and as two birds flew over head I actually heard their wings!!! It was amazing.

I feel like what I was expecting at the school was what I got the past three days....meditation wise.  I have a better understanding of myself and how to work with situations.

During discussions I realized that as much as we are on this 3 day journey together are all on our own life journeys and here for different or similar reasons.  People come to India for .... enlightenment? I don't know but we all are trying to understand something and it was really beautiful.

I have a better understanding and foundation of meditation.  In fact, I was even able to clear my mind for a few seconds and sit in awareness,  I was so excited about this that internally I was shouting you've done it!!!  You became aware and are not paying attention to your thoughts...oh wait, these are thoughts..damn it! Now I...would you shut up!  Then I had to start again, but its okay, it was a stepping stone.  I really feel like I have come back to myself and feel really great!  It's really hard to explain the feeling.

As soon as it was over, the guy I had been sitting next to for the three days turned to me and said "I"m Fabrizio by the way."  I smiled.  You are with someone for three days but have no contact so it was nice to exchange words.

After a few of us went for dinner and had a nice time.  We are all meeting up at 7am for a yoga class.  Yup, 7.  The sign said 7 but when we called to make sure it was open he said 11, we asked for earlier and he said 9.  We said 7 was best so with a huffing breath he said "fine, you come at 7!"

I believe how I was feeling about everything was a challenge, a deliberate one from The Universe, wanting me to experience challenges and finding this course to help me understand more.  If I learned anything this year it was in Mexico as we all know how well that started for me.  No matter what The Universe throws at you, be excited for the outcomes ... and excited I am!!!

Mountain life has been good for me and I am so grateful for the challenges I experienced and what I have overcome to get to this point.

                                                    - My Beautiful Life -

__

Calmer

Namaste!

Each day is a challenge here, in more ways than one and as much as I want to get my next level...I'm glad I am only doing my 200 hours as I will definitely need a break for a little while.  My body is sore,  I'm exhausted and  sometimes I just want to scream.

The culture here is still something I am trying to wrap my brain around.  They are very passive here...if something doesn't get done they are like "oh well that's just the way it is, it will happen eventually." So when you are getting something fixed or need something done most of the time it won't be done when you ask, you may have to wait an extra day or two.  I get it, it's okay if things aren't done, and it is nothing to stress about ... and each day I'm working on not getting so uptight and being calmer about things but it is extremely frustrating sometimes.

Most teacher's don't seem to give much encouragement or care to .... they may make comments and call you out in class or make a comment about your injuries and honestly... 'it can be demoralizing.  I know this is my ego talking and that's what we are trying to stay away from but fuck....we are working our asses off.   We are pushing our bodies and minds every day.  Geez... I'm in the studio an hour and 15 minutes every morning before class starts and I go to yoga classes on our days off.  My body is being pushed to it's limit... I'm working on my flexibility, my strength as well as learning to work with (and hopefully heal as much as possible) the injuries - new and old - that I have acquired over my life...this includes my broken foot that doesn't seem to like to balance me very well.  Again, my ego talking but fuck... I have cried in three classes because of how I am pushing myself.

On my days off I enjoy myself instead of studying which probably isn't the greatest idea as I really needed to be studying but to be out and doing something besides yoga is a nice break.  Don't get me wrong...I love the course but it can take a toll mentally and physically...however my body does not like me taking a day off so I need to stretch or go to an (asana) class so it doesn't yell at me the next day.

Wednesday we have a half day off so our second Wednesday they took us to a temple on the mountain to watch the sunrise.  We left at 4am and took a bus up the windy mountain road.  It wasn't as bad as the road going up to Machu Picchu  but there were a few times my heart stopped...then I would feel Julie's hand on my lap and her say "it's fine, we are not gonna die." Can you guarantee this?!?

I of course sat in the window seat and watched the scenery go by.  Road workers live at the site.  They have shanti's that are literally tents covered with tarpaulin on the road.  You see them sitting around a fire heating up breakfast and getting warm.  The roads are narrow but the driver drove slow, he even had to back up at one point to let another vehicle pass ... I almost suggested I walk from there.  This is it, this is where it ends. But it didn't - obviously - or you wouldn't be reading this right now.

I have seen a lot of sunsets around the world but this was enchanting.  We climbed the wall on the outskirts of the temple and sat at the edge and watching as the sun rose over the foothills of the Himilayas.  It kissed the horizon and then it lit up the hills, the houses in the villages and the windy streets below. As soon as we saw a bit of light behind the foothills everyone fells silent and held their breath.  The 3:30 wake-up time and the near-heart attack drive was well worth the beauty that mother nature blesses us with.  I'm hoping to experience it again while I am here.

That same night they took us to a ceremony on The Ganges.  It was a lot of chanting and lot's of people.  Julie and I wandered around and then met some guys who seemed quite interested in hanging out with us.  "Do you want to go to the Mushroom Cafe?" one asked us.  We looked at each other "umm, we are here studying and we have a curfew."  They laughed at us.  "It's not that type of cafe, that's just the name."  We got their contact info to meet them on Sunday but it didn't happen.

Sunday we have a full day off so I got up early and went to a Hatha Yoga class at 8 am... everyone else of course was sleeping but I wanted to see what a class was like and I wanted to keep working on my strength.  It was just me and another guy in the class.  We ended up going for breakfast after class and just talking about yoga and travel.  We made plans for Wednesday (which we have a half day off) to go to The Beatles Ashram.

I dressed for the occasion.

I am so glad we went.  We had so much fun and the place is huge.  I thought it was just one building but it's acres and acres of land ...when ever we got to one spot we saw more buildings...and one of the greatest things is that you get to go through the buildings, walk through the halls, walk up the staircases, look out the windows...it's really amazing.   I would love to go back in tie and walk through it when it was in it's prime because it was probably incredible. Even though most of the place still stands there is not one thing that shows there were ever people there...there is not one piece of furniture, cup, blanket or anything to show that there was ever life - other than all the graffiti art.

We spent hours there taking pictures, enjoying the view and climbing staircases, going into rooms, going on the roofs and anywhere else we could get to. Walking through their (The Beatles) bungalow was pretty cool...to be where they once walked and played music was awesome.

I believe the whole White Album was written there and a few of their other songs as well - look at the top of the door frame in the photo.  There are also a few other musicians who spent time there (with the Beatles) who wrote a song or two as well.  It is really interesting to learn about the background to their songs and where their inspiration came from.  If you want to read about it please click here this will take you to the Wikipedia page.

The whole place is falling apart but just like the rest of the dereliction in India it's beautiful with such a great vibe and energy running through it.  I would highly recommend it to anyone planning to come to Rishikesh and so glad I spent my time off here.

My days are filled with classes.  I've been working hard and it is paying off.  We are now coming to the end of our course and I am physically able to do things I couldn't do four weeks ago.  My alignment teacher has helped  me work with my injuries and strengthen other area's. It's amazing and I feel great.  My body is achy but I am really happy with my progress and as much as I am looking forward to being finished I am sad at the same time.  You go through a lot with the people you are here with.  Tears, physical and mental struggles, study sessions, lesson preparation and being a support group for each other.  It's become my home ... yes lol even though it wasn't what I expected I have become quite comfortable...especially since my roommate left (she had to go back to work)  I have taken over my room and taken advantage of having my own space.  I am actually in my "loner" mode right now.  I have kind of separated myself but only because I am feeling quiet and getting focused.

I have become close with one of the girls (Julie) - for those of you that follow my SnapChat she is the one that is usually in my stories.  We have a tendency to be in our own world on our days off.  We have met a few people outside of the school on our outings.  Trent from Australia, Joe from the states who has helped us with Philosophy,  Will from my Hatha Yoga class and Surya who is here studying Yoga Philosophy so he has helped us as well.  We met him on Sunday.  One of the teachers I met in Delhi was here so we met up and he was with them .  There were 5 Canadians in total and Julie who is from Norway.  There are so many Canadians here it's amazing lol...not that I am complaining...they are all so polite :).

Sunday when we met Justine (my friend I met in Delhi), one of the guys with her and her friends joined me and Julie to wander the streets and then to get our tattoos...yup I got my fingers done and we have another appointment for this coming Saturday.

After we went to a cafe we went to another one for dinner and met up with Justine and the others which is where we met Surya.  It's been nice meeting people outside of the school, it's refreshing and just a change.

Now I sit at the Tree House Cafe.   A cafe built up around a tree.  The floor shakes when you walk on it but it's bright and sunny.  Everything is bamboo with open walls, cushions around the tables and a chill vibe.  It's my "me day." I am going to have a nice lunch and do some studying as our final exam is on Friday.  I already had my practical on Sunday ( I taught a class.)  I believe Julie is meeting up with me (of course) lol she took some time to go take some pictures.

Well, I know this wasn't over the top exciting but there are many adventures coming I promise and for those of you who don't already... please click my follow button for SnapChat as I snap mostly every day and take my viewers to places such as The Beatles Ashram.

I am feeling calmer and more relaxed though I really do miss Mexico but know this is where I am supposed to be in my life right now and I am okay with this... I need to be here right now.   I am still working on some things but everything takes time - like the confusion I have here and being in a place where others don't respect your personal time and space.  Learning to breath and accepting it.  It's challenging and I am getting better not going off like a fire cracker but  I know I will get there.  I physically (other than being sore) feel great and mentally I am beginning to feel more balanced...the real challenge will be how I feel once I leave and apply what I have learned to my every day life.

Till next time.

                                                                   - My Beautiful Life -

A Way of Life

Namaste,

I think it's starting to kick in that I am in India...maybe not fully but it is definitely kicking in.  When I sit in the studio listening to my amazing teachers talk I look out the windows at the beautiful landscape and think... WOW!  Do you realize where you are?  How long you planned this and looked at this place and the pictures on the internet.  Can you believe you're actually got here?  I'm a little mind blown about the situation.

It took almost 9 hours for me to get here.  The bus was on time but it fell behind in travel time due to bad roads and traffic - which to me,  if they know this because it's always chaotic, they should tell you 7 hours instead of 6.  However I quite enjoyed the journey...I actually really like bus rides.  I pop in my music and look out the window and watch the scenery whiz by me and just take the time  to think and not really talk to others...even if I am with someone; which I was - I was with one of the workers from the hostel (thank goodness) so it made my life easier and not as stressful.  I was already a bit stressed about being late and then getting myself to the ashram.  Badu had been in contact with the ashram and told me not to worry he had made sure they were coming to get me at a meeting point.   I watched the organized chaos rush by me for the whole 7 hour journey,  I watched as men worked in run down garages, children play on dirty pavement.  I saw long, run down concrete buildings with 5 doors along the front...some of them opening into what looked like a concrete room and a bed. More cows, tuk tuks, traffic and so much more ...it's hard to explain.  I tried to wrap my brain around everything but even after 7 hours of watching all of this and taking it all in I still can't make sense of any of it.   The horn of the bus was another thing...I smiled every time the driver used it and in India, they don't use their blinkers, the lines on the roads and they don't have many traffic lights so they just constantly use their horns which just becomes background noise after awhile but the buses horn was something else.  Have you ever heard the horn on a clown car?  That's the best way I can explain it lol...it totally added to the senseless organized chaos surrounding us.

We arrived at the bus terminal just after 8 and we took a tuk tuk to...well I honestly don't know where but Badu knew where we were going.  The traffic seems just as bad or possibly even worse.  For those of you that don't know what a tuk tuk is its a three wheeler with a small cabin on it ...they are motorized but don't go as fast as cars and wouldn't say they are the safest form of transportation.

I was so glad Badu was with me.  I was a bit stressed when we were waiting at the side of the road by a bridge.  People coming up to us and staring at me, I was still just getting my feet wet here and as mentioned earlier wasn't sure how to take everything yet.  The ashram kept calling saying they were sending someone which made me extremely happy, until I saw was my mode of transportation was.  A fucking two wheeler...better known as a motorbike! Are you kidding me?!? I don't want to die before I even arrive to the ashram. Me, my 80 litre backpack, my computer backpack and my purse got as comfortable as we could on the bike and we were off (after I thank Badu of course). We weaved in and out of traffic and people, we zoomed around corners, up a hill, past cows and dogs over broken road...IT WAS FUCKING FUN AS HELL!!! I actually felt more safe on the bike than I did with any other transportation.

It was strange when I walked in.  I was told to sit on the couch by someone who was clearly a teacher of the ahsram - and has become one of my favourites.  "Sit here and relax." Was all he said.  "Drink some water." They brought me a stainless steel cup filled with water.  "Just relax." He repeated.  " I am totally relaxed." was my response but I clearly wasn't.  He had an odd, calm smile on his face and he just kept staring at me.  "He asked if I was hungry."  "Very."  He took me to a big outside area that was covered with a corrugated roof surround by netting (against bugs) and told me to sit (pretty much in the dark) while he prepared me tea, an apple and toast with jam - the jam here is awesome!

The ashram is in an old hotel and it hasn't been updated so it's much different than what it looks like in the nicely filtered pictures on their website.  The room was much smaller and not as bright as it looked online, and the doors have these huge bolts on them which stick if you don't pull strong enough and they make a huge squeaking noise when you are locking and unlocking.  It is so loud I can actually here when the girls on either side of my room are leaving or coming back.   I wouldn't say it's run down, in fact in the past 11 days it's actually become home to me and I love getting into my bed at the end of the night and snuggling in or just talking with my roommate...who is awesome.  She is Indian so she goes over things from philosophy class that I may not have understood and explains Indian history and understands Sanskrit which we are learning...it's not easy.

After two days of being here it already felt like we had been here a few weeks.  We all bonded so well and we had already taken in so much information it felt like I had been in class for 11 days not 2.

The course is great...it's intense, there is a lot of information and the Sanskrit is challenging but I am learning so much.  We have a 13 hour day.  Our first class starts at 6:15am,  Hatha Yoga - which is what I am very keen on and one of the main reasons I chose this school - which is getting much more intense and giving us a challenging work out first thing in the morning.  Our Ashtanga Vinyasa class is very challenging and is pushing me physically.  Our alignment class is also challenging...doing a pose properly is extremely challenging and makes them that much more effective but definitely not as relaxing as I thought many of them were until now.  This class is working me hard and so is the teacher.  He is fantastic, inspiring, smart, brilliant, worldly and caring.  When he talks we surround him and look at him like he is Santa Claus lol we all like him so much.  He was adjusting/aligning me today and tears all of a sudden filled my eyes.   These weren't tears out of pain, or frustration but just from working my ass off, learning what I'm learning, realizing where I am, pushing myself, improving myself mentally and physically and really just the true love I feel for being able to train with such an incredible person.  I have the biggest smile on my face when I see him or when I am in his class.  He also gives us the chance to work in groups and correct, align and teach each other which is fantastic and made me realize that I could do this.  I wasn't sure I would want to teach yoga, I was taking it to have a deeper meaning in it and have a better personal practice but I have realized that I really enjoy teaching others and that I am good at it too.  My friend told me that she thinks I am going to be a really good teacher and that she is learning from me.

Everyone in my class is great and we all bonded very quickly though I have really bonded with Julie (from Norway) we pretty much stick together for everything which includes shopping, eating, sitting next to each other in theory classes, studying sessions at the cafe - there is an awesome cafe on a rooftop the next street over in yoga village (which is where we live) and it's made out of bamboo - and early morning practices.  Well, we have tried early morning practices but the first morning I was late and today Julie slept in so I practiced by myself at 5:30am...back strengthening.  Early yes but we really don't have a lot of time to practice so early morning is the best time.

Sunday which was our day off her, Me and Ellen (a Canadian) walked around all day shopping - I did most of the shopping, wandering the streets and having a fabulously delicious lunch at the Beetles Cafe...yes the band...they came to Rishikesh back in the day and stayed at an ashram so this cafe is in honour of that.  It has an amazing view over looking The Ganga...not The Gangee, The Ganga. It's
literally a 5 minute walk from the ashram.  It's pretty awesome here!  Small little streets filled with shops and cafe's...you can literally buy everything here, clothes...amazing clothes, jewelry, food, vitamins, yogic instruments, bags, rugs, pillows, yoga mats and props...it is endless and cheap...it's easy for me to spend...but I have become really good at bartering.  I bought this bag/purse - no I didn't need another one but it said my name when I saw it so I figured it wanted to come live with me - it was originally 2,500 rupees so about $45.  I talked him down to 800 rupees so around $18.  It had a flaw so he had knocked it down to 1,500 rupees but when he opened it the lining was ripped badly, he dropped it down to 100 but I said no way less so he did and I bought and love it very much.

Day by day it's sinking in more and more that I am here.  The more information I get, the deeper my friendships become and the more sore by body becomes sore I am realizing where I am how far I have traveled and the changes I have gone through and am still going through being here.

Physically even though I am sore as hell and can barely move my arms, my back is feeling straighter and more opened in the shoulders, I am feeling healthy and clean...I have actually become a vegetarian as they put us on an ayurvedic diet.  Meet is banned here and so is alcohol so even when we are finished the course and stay we don't have access to these things and to be honest I'm a little afraid to get sick from eating meat and I really don't miss it as the food here is so good and filling.  Plus, the cows are really nice.  Remember I said there are random cows in India, well here they are everywhere they even cause traffic jams on the bridges here.  They are just as friendly and loving as dogs, we make friends with them...well, Julie does,  I tell her she is an animal whisperer. She pets every animal she sees and then they follow her, and me, I get to watch the bonding and then accidentally step in a big pile of cow poop!

There are also monkeys.  They come around the ashram.  They are on our balconies, they run across the roof of the studio and they even come into the studio.  We had one come in during mantra class and our teacher said "they try to get their certificate each month but it's no use."  The other day in alignment class one put both his hands up against the glass and looked in the window, when our teacher told him to go away the monkey pulled back, looked at him and then frowned....lol they are funny but from a distance.

If I have learned anything, its not just the physical classes and mental effect of yoga, it is actually a lifestyle, there is so much more to it than that.  We can heal ourselves, with alignment, adjustment, meditation, and eating techniques...just because you don't have time to go to a class it doesn't mean you don't have time for yoga because it's so much more than that and unfortunately Western Yoga is different than Yoga here but I am hoping to spread some of my knowledge and experience elsewhere. For now though, I am going to sleep, I am extremely sore and tired and tomorrow we are leaving here at 4am to go to a temple on the mountain for sunrise.  Until next time everyone.  Shanti (peace).

                                                        - My Beautiful Life -

A Beautiful Senseless Dereliction in an Organized Chaos!

India!!! What can I say!  I still can't believe I am here!  It's been a week and I don't think it has kicked in yet that I am here.  It has been my dream to come here for as long as I can remember, and I am here but I hesitated about coming here.

During my time in Mexico I couldn't even think about India...I was so stressed out about coming here.  I didn't know what to expect. I pictured heaps of people and craziness happening when I got off the airplane and just being hassled and getting overwhelmed.  I truly thought that India was too big for me...even with all of my years traveling...I knew that India was something in itself...and I was right but wrong at the same time.

Getting There
I was in transit for 42 hours!  A 4 hour flight from Cabo to L.A with a layover which was long and not bad but there was an issue with my bag because I was supposed to take it to the "transfer belt" to get it on to the next flight and they shut it down just before 7pm so there were all these people in transit that had to re-check their bags.  Then I had to walk with all my stuff to the next terminal not really knowing where I was going...ughh ... ahh well, the joys of traveling. Then I had a 15 hour flight to Guangzho (China) with an awful layover.  They were very rude and aggressive; not the best thing at 5am after a 15 hour flight.  Then a 7 hour flight (I think) to Delhi.

I was tired and just wanted to get to my hostel.  The airport was what had been stressing me out before I left for India...I had stressed myself out thinking how overwhelmed everything would be.  However, the hostel I had booked into had offered an airport pick-up! So after an hour of customs and baggage claim - I was getting nervous because it took 40 minutes for my bag to come out.  My heart literally lifted when I saw it come out...LOL losing it would not be fun.

I'm so glad I got a driver to pick me up...it made my life soo much easier and I was barely stressed.

To be honest ... it wasn't anything I expecting!  Other than the wild traffic and random cows it was nothing like I pictured.  It was a little disappointing. I don't know what I was picturing but this wasn't really it.

Feeling at Home
I met someone literally the minute I arrived at the hostel.  It was a great place and an easy place to meet people ...probably one of the best hostels.  It's nothing like the hostels in Mexico...cheap resort...this was average looking dorm rooms, a rooftop patio with chairs around a table, a grassed area where people sat and patio lanterns.  Writing on the walls and a small social area in the main area.  It was honestly a breath of fresh air.  Don't get me wrong I love hostels in Mexico but this one was how I think hostels should be.  The people I met were awesome.  They are so different on this side of the world, they travel differently, they have a different air about them.  Some took out guitars and started singing, very hippie and there were so many TEFL teachers!!! I couldn't believe it!!! I felt right at home!  The guys I hung out with were all TEFL teachers...I have never met so many in one spot...however many TEFL teachers are on this side of the world because not only is it great over hear but it's cheap to live in Asia.  It was great to talk about work and work experiences and expand my network!!!  I felt right at home and knew very quickly coming to India was the right decision.

Angels - Little Women with Wings
Even though I was jet lagged like crazy I decided that leaving for the Taj Mahal at 5am the next morning with the guys after beers all night was a smart ideal.  Front desk did have to wake me up but I made it ( a half our late.)

There were 8 of us so the guys and I grabbed one cab and the others grabbed one for them.  Our first stop was a chaiwalla (I think that's the spelling).  This is the best place in the world, but first let me explain.

Here in India Chai (masala) is tea with spices and hot milk, and tea is black tea with a tea bag. Chai does mean tea but you need to specify because if you ask for a chai tea you are being redundant.  You are literally asking for tea tea.  Back home chai tea is more of a flavour where as here it's a whole process in how they make it.

Chaiwalla is basically a small little .... hut, I guess you could say...where they make and sell chai for like 20 cents.  This one was on the side of the road.

I took a sip of Jose's and it was like the sky opened and rays of sunshine started pouring into my life.  It was to die for!!! I looked over at the little woman selling it and I swear big huge angel wings started sprouting from her back because what she was serving us was juice from the angels.  This has literally become one of my favourite things  in India... I call it my angel drink!  We even learned how to make it today in our cooking class at the ashram.  Seriously ... this stuff makes me so happy!

The Driving
I want to explain something to you.  It makes no sense here.  I have tried to make sense of things but I literally can not wrap my brain around  how it works here.  Three lanes of traffic can become six, they don't use the lines, pay attention to speed limits or use flashers.  They honk to show they are coming or if someone is getting to close.  People walk along the highway, even children coming home from school.  There are cows crossing the street and tuk tuks on the highway. Cars have scratches and dents,  there are families of 4 on their motorbikes with only the driver wearing a helmet.  The women sit side-saddle on the back of bikes and the kids barely hold on to the adults while they are weaving in and out of traffic.  You drive through areas covered in garbage and doors of run down buildings that are front doors to I think one room houses.  Men and children are outside doing ... I'm not sure...while you barely see any women.  However, everything runs smoothly without a question,  it's an organized chaos that holds the oddest most senseless dereliction as no matter what the area looked like everyone was clean, nicely dressed with smartphones in their hands.  It seriously makes no sense to me.  When we got into Agra there was every type of transportation on road you could think of.  Taxi's, trucks, tuk tuks, horse and carriage, bicycles...I can't wrap my brain around it...it's so confusing and fascinating at the same time!!!

The Taj Mahal
The Taj Mahal.  I know you're probably waiting for something big here.  It was beautiful, I can't lie about that, it's definitely a beautiful sight and I am very happy I went but... it was very underwhelming.  There was nothing WOW about it.  I said wow because I was there...it was super cool that I was there but honestly I was disappointed.  I think it's because I had high hopes and had bigged it up in my head.  Having expectations can really create disappointment and unfortunately the Taj Mahal was one of them.
I did enjoy sitting outside of it with the crowd and just hanging out in the sun for a bit and taking it all in.  It still hadn't kicked in that I was in India and I was still lack of sleep.
There was a family sitting close to us and the mother looked at my tattoos and said something to her husband so he looked over.  Then their little girl started waving at us...she was super cute.  When we got up and walked away she started crying and following us...the grandmother was smiling at us and the little one was just looking at us with tears...the parents looked confused lol.

Our Driver
When we got dropped off, our driver told us we had 2 hours.  So we had honestly felt that we had been ripped off as we felt rushed and didn't see the other things on the grounds.  When we got back to the car we headed straight back the hostel as he had even refused to take us to the view point.
The guy was an idiot.  First off, on our way back, he wasn't paying attention and he hit a man and a woman on a bike (thank goodness it wasn't the highway).  When we did get to the highway however he was doing 150KM an hour, he was passing everyone.  When we went over a pothole it sounded like we hit something  we were driving so fast.  The guys were even freaked out and asked him to slow down.  I even had to ask him to get off his phone and drive properly.  Then, when we got off the highway he was driving like an asshole in the crazy Delhi traffic.  It's crazy enough as it is and he almost hit 3 other cars.
Later that night we found out the other group toured around and saw other places.  The didn't get back till 8pm ...we got back at 3pm.  I spoke to the hostel about it.  They were quite upset. Apparently, we were supposed to have the cab for the day.  If we wanted to go somewhere he was supposed to take us and limiting us to 2 hours at Taj Mahal was not supposed to happen, we could've spent 4 hours there if we wanted.  When they called the cab driver he lied and said "when they got in the cab they just wanted to go back to the hostel."  "No" I told them "he refused to take us where we wanted when we asked him and he only gave us two hours...we were pissed off.  He wouldn't take us anywhere so where were we supposed to go.  Plus he hit someone and drove 150KM."  He got fired.

Old Delhi
After our day trip to the Taj Mahal the guys wanted to go to Old Delhi the next day.  "We want to see your face on the tuk tuk going through traffic!"  I had sat in the front seat in the cab to the Taj Mahal.  I was white knuckled and grabbing at things to hold on to and gave a play by play as my life flashed before my eyes so they wanted to see me stress in a tuk tuk...but we took the metro instead.

"Emmie,  I want you to be the first to walk out of the station.  I want to see the look on your face when you see the city for your first time." Jose said to me.  I looked at all of them. "Why, am I going to freak out or something?"  "Just go first."

I walked up the stairs out of the metro station. The first thing I saw was a homeless guy on the upper part of the stairs missing an arm...a sight I was prepared for as I had been told this is something I would see in India.

I kept walking and focused on the street that was beginning to come into view.  I got to the top of the stairs and stood still in amazement.  It was everything and more I had imagined India to be!  It had crazy traffic like everywhere was but maybe more.  Small alley ways had motorbikes driving through them and honking almost running people over.  There was delicious street food, stores that I can't explain what they were, people walking, driving, sitting, smoking and staring...I'm so glad I was covered...the stares I got were very different to what I am used to and I am so glad I was with a group of guys.

I wish there were words to describe Old Delhi...It was a complete sensory overload and I actually teared up a little bit.  I was so emotionally overwhelmed with everything. So many sounds to listen to while trying to weave our way in and out of the streets and traffic, trying not to get run over everything enveloped by smells.  One underlying smell with a layer of food, pollution and human, goat and cow excrement. It was dirty and dingy with broken down buildings covered in a black lining of dirt that seemed to be permanent yet the colour of clean tasty street food popped out at you.  It had a darkness to it yet it was colourful and bright.  It had character to it a lot of it coming from the years of power lines that lined every street.  90% of them do not work, but whenever they need new ones they just put them up not taking the old ones down...I guess they don't know which ones are the good ones anymore.  The only words I have to describe it is "a beautiful senseless dereliction  in and organized chaos"...and I seriously thought it was beautiful.  I know there are so many things I am forgetting to tell you but it was honestly so much to take in...so much so that after about two hours it was time to go.  I was exhausted from all my senses and emotions being aware and the pollution was getting to me.

Adjusting
There are some things I am trying to adjust to...and it's not just the organized chaos.  It's having to be in a separate line from the guys where ever I go, the staring here is weird and can be creepy, how everyone has a smartphone even in less fortunate places and the food.  Everything is spicy but so tasty...yup I'm eating spicy food...I actually don't have much of a choice because the food at the ashram is all spicy and I am adjusting to it quite well and I have definitely adjust to life here in Rishikesh.

I have only been here a week and I am so in love with India even though it hasn't hit me that I am here yet.  Even though I am at the ashram now I still don't think it has all kicked in.

I know you are waiting to hear how my yoga training is going but I am going to leave that for the next blog.  It's India, you have to get your feet wet first,  I don't want you to get to overwhelmed.

                                                      - My Beautiful Life -