I'm not gonna lie and say I love India, but I also can't say I hate India. I think we have a bit of a love hate relationship. India has been my dream for as long as I can remember and it has been probably the most challenging place I have ever been too.
I have learned to try not to understand India and just (try) to go with it - even though it is not easy all the time.
I didn't really have the excitement in me that I usually have for places, even in Goa. I loved Goa but didn't always like it. I found it a bit pretentious to be honest. I met some extremely rude people there but also some amazing people there. I sometimes wondered if they were being their true selves or if it was all a show because they were in Goa. It seemed like some of the things there were a little over the top at times. One night at the hippie market (on the beach at sunset), I saw this woman walking, slow and straight through the crowd as if she was royalty while some guy cleared a pathway for her. Maybe she was practicing walking with awareness but I'm not sure.
There was the older couple who would walk the streets with a stereo and microphones singing "Hari Krishna" through the streets. Then at night I would see them on the beach still singing but with a circle of people around them. Though, they always did put a smile on face.
After my feather left I went through emotions I hadn't felt in awhile but I also learned some things about myself that really helped me to understand a deeper part of me. I ended up deciding to give in a little bit and join the others in a night at a club which was fantastic!!! Then two days later we sat and day drank and then went to a reggae music festival. Now I am not one for reggae but this was amazing!!! Actually, it was pretty epic!!! The music was a live concert, the people I was with were fantastic, the drinks were good, the vibe was good and my heart actually opened up to the music a little bit...I felt a little awakened and like myself...I let loose!!! It was amazing and the perfect way to spend my last weekend in Goa!
Yes, that's right...last weekend. I decided to meet Nick and Anouschka (the couple I met in Rajasthan with James) in Thailand. I figured it was time to go. I need a change of scenery.
However, I didn't realize how much of my heart was in Goa, my last day was quite emotional and I shed some tears. I was really sad to leave my hut... I know it sounds funny but I was really attached to it and I felt like leaving it I was leaving behind a part of me and my special feather, that I was letting go. I also didn't realize how much Goa became a bit like home and started feeling the love of things I didn't realize I liked so much...walking through the streets, the people I had met, walking on the beach, eating corn, my two favourite restaurants, the sound of the ocean 24 hours a day in my hut and the amazing people I had just spent my weekend with. But, even though I felt sad I was leaving at the best time...I was leaving India with so much love in my heart and a big love for Goa, looking back it seems like it was all a dream but it was a great dream!
With my hut looking empty and tears in my eyes, I hopped in a cab and made the two hour drive to the airport. When I checked my baggage I knew I was going to be over on weight. I was allowed 20 kg for free and then had to pay for any extra. I was at 22.8 kg's. "You have to pay." Said the girl. "Yes no problem but just for the extra 2.8 Kg's right?" She spoke to the girl at the counter beside her. "Where is she flying to?" "Thailand." "It's international, don't worry about it." Amazing!!! Happy Emmie!!! I then had a 3 hour wait for a 50 minute flight to Bangalore where I had a 6 hour layover. I was so exhausted. I had woken up at 6am on my last day and didn't even nap...to top it off I was super hungry by 7am and the airport food was either something I didn't like or overpriced and was unwilling to spend that much...though I finally settled for a shitty omelet. It's a good thing I did though as my next flight to Bangkok ... well... apparantly the airline I was flying with isn't; umm...I guess you would say fully operational? They don't offer anything for free!!! Not even tea!!! You can only get water for free or pay for everything. I was annoyed but I was so exhausted I spent most of the flight sleeping. I literally fell asleep as soon as I got in my seat, but I of course had to wake-up for take off - my least favourite part of flying.
I found the airport system in India long but very organized. You have to wait inline just to get into the airport, they check your confirmation and your passport. You can check in way before. Then I went through customs in two seconds, they check your bag before it gets loaded at the check in. Sometimes, the left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing but I found it pretty simple and maybe even a bit of a time saver.
I'm not leaving India for good. I am planning on going back but I really needed to take a break, I feel it's been a very intense 3.5 months and need to step away for a bit and go back knowing what to expect. I am still waiting for myself to fall in love with India.... I made it happen in Mexico so I am sure I can do the same with India.
I am happy to say I am leaving India with so much love in my heart.
Now I am in Bangkok and........
Well, that's the next blog!
Goodbye Goa, thank you. Till next time.
- My Beautiful Life -
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